How to introduce sex toys to your relationship

Although sex toys can add a maximum of pleasure to your relationship, getting your partner involved can be a bit tricky. Katie Fox, sex expert at, shares her tips on how to smoothly introduce toys to your couple.

choose the right time

While there is no right time to introduce the idea of using sex toys to the bedroom, bringing it up on the first few dates is probably a bit too soon. Instead, wait until you’ve had a few sex sessions together and have built up a good level of trust and communication both inside and outside the bedroom. You can help speed up the process by giving your partner lots of praise when he hits those pleasure spots – once he is confident that he is satisfying you sexually, suggesting a sex toy to enhance both your pleasure will be much better received.

ease into the conversation gently

One way to ease the subject of sex toys into the conversation is to find some articles on sex toys and their benefits, then introduce it to your man by saying: “I found this interesting article on how sex toys can be a lot of fun, what do you think about them?” Let your partner read the article – not only will this allow you to gauge your partner’s reaction, it will also allow a discussion about sex toys to flow naturally between you.

reassure your man

It is important to be able to articulate why you would like to introduce a sex toy into your sex life. Focus on what you already love about your sessions and reassure your partner that you feel it will help you add more fun and reach a new level of intimacy. Make it clear a sex toy is no substitute for the emotional closeness you feel when you are sexually intimate with him.

do your research

One reason he may initially be skeptical about sex toys is a fear of the unknown. That’s why it’s a good idea to do some research before raising the topic. Having a good level of knowledge and understanding of a sex toy you want to introduce will help put his mind at ease if they have any doubts. It will also help you narrow down the variety of sex toys available to ones best suited to you both.

shop for sex toys together

Shopping online at an online sex toy shop like Bondara is a good opportunity for you and your partner to connect and discuss products you may like. Being able to browse in the comfort of your own home will make it easier for you to talk openly about what you may like to try. Once you become accustomed to looking at different sex toys together it will be a lot of fun too!

no pressure!

If your other half still isn’t keen on the idea, don’t push it! It is important that both of you feel comfortable introducing sex toys into your relationship. Leave the subject alone for the time being and focus on experimenting with other things in the bedroom. It may be using erotic massage oil or an intimate massager to give each other a sensual massage or introducing sexy outfits for some fun fantasy play. As your partner becomes more comfortable with different sensations and experiences they may warm up to the idea of sex toys.

Try this sex toy: The Rocks Off Luv Massager is waterproof for bath time or shower play, with five deeply satisfying vibration settings.

solo time

Give your man a sex toy as a gift and allow him to experiment and get comfortable with it on his own before introducing it into your couple play. Once he’s had the chance to discover the toy and the pleasurable sensations it brings, you may find he’s keen to share the experience with you!

Try playing with: The Jimmy Jane Hello Touch is the latest in sex toy technology! The vibrating pads put powerful buzzing sensations at your fingerstips.

let your partner control your pleasure

To avoid your partner seeing a sex toy as competition you can start off with a remote toy that lets him remain in control of your pleasure. It’ll be a highly erotic experience for him to administer the powerful sensations as he teases you to orgasm from a distance.

mutual benefits

A common problem men have with sex toys is the fear of being left out. To ensure a sex toy is a win-win, shop for couple specific sex toys such as cock rings or wearable toys that offer an array of pleasurable possibilities for both you and your partner.

Try this: The Lelo vibrator is has two ends, one to sit on the clit and the other in the vagina, so both partners get the full benefit of vibration patterns no matter what position they’re in.

turn him into the sex toy!

A good way to get him on board with the idea is to choose a product that he can wear so that essentially he turns into the sex toy! This ensures that his manhood is still the central focus of your sex session and the sex toy just becomes a means to enhance both your pleasure during normal penetration.

Try this: With the 4US cock ring, the man becomes the vibrator as the removable RO-80mm bullet vibe sends powerful vibrations up and down his penis and stimulates the clitoris as well


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